Dear Sunohara: Lost Loves

What’s up my adorable cute fans - your Erotic Vegetable Prince of Romance has returned from a 2 week hiatus to answer your relationship questions and dish out that sexy love advice you all know and love.  Seems like you all missed me, cause there was 26 questions waiting for me in mail box.  But you guys know by know how I roll…. I only answer 2 questions myself and the rest get answered by the B team (Editors note:  guess - the “B team” is us, Kira & Asuna).  But first a public service announcement to all the guys out there.  I get a lot of emails along the lines of “I can’t talk to girls” or “I’m too shy and can’t seem to meet girls.” So I’ve gone ahead and created a fool proof plan for all you with this predicament - check back in a couple of days.

Sunohara’s always willing to lend a hand… or a shoulder

Email #1

It’s been 5 YEARS since I stopped talking to this girl. She was a good friend once and we lost touch. Truth be told I had feelings, but the emotional turtle I am, I didn’t say nothing. The thing is I’m reaching Junior Year in High School and I can’t think of anybody but her, It’s been 5 YEARS!!! OMG Even bringing up memories of middle school make my heart ache…WHAT DO I DO!!!

(from Ken)

Aww… precious childhood memories… note - our memories are in color.

Hey Ken

Thanks for the email and the half dozen explanation marks.  Seems like this girl is on mind a little too much for someone you haven’t talked to in 5 years. What’s the matter man, not enough hotties in your high school?  You need to go to high school in Japan - lots of hotties here, and they all wear uniforms!!!

You’re lucky that I’m a genius - cause I figured out this issue.  My guess is you’re probably around 16-18 years old.  So that means you knew this girl when you were around 11-13. So she is what you would classify as childhood friend.  She was probably innocent, sweet, kind and …. Moe!  So you need to find someone who is just as Moe as this girl.  My Advice is to date a younger girl with the some of the same qualities.  To find out how young you can date without be perv, take your age, then divide by 2 and then add 7.  So if your 18 your gf can be no younger than 15.  But I’m warning you, don’t get any lower - you’ll have some real issues if you do.

Kira’s editors note:  I’m not sure how helpful Sunohara’s advice was there, so let me add my suggestions.

I can’t tell from your email if this girl still lives in the same city as you as not. If she doesn’t that means you haven’t seen her in five years as well. My Suggestion is to look her up on facebook or try connecting with her in another way.  Maybe through a friend of hers you still know or something.  The point being that after connecting with her you’ll realize that people can change in 5 years - especially during their early teens.  The girl you had a mad crush on 5 years ago, won’t be the same girl now.  She’ll look different, have a different personality and be into different things.  And your different too, the type of girl you liked 5 years ago, is different from the type of girl you’ll like know, and definitely different than the type of girl you’ll like 5 years from now.  If you guys can connect again, and she is still someone you want to be with, then don’t be afraid to tell her - but gone in with an open mind that anything maybe possible here.

If you can’t connect with her again to see what type of person she has not become, then it’s important to realize that it’s normal to want to connect with a childhood friend or crush. It was probably your first crush so that memory is something that will stay with you for a life time.  But don’t get hung up on a memory of the past, because you’ll be shutting yourself from all the girls in the present.

Email #2

Hey Sunohara

The guy I had a huge crush on 6 years is finally moving back home from Orlando. It tore me up when he left right before we started high school because I liked him more than a friend and just started to realize it.  We kept in touch for a long time. And 3 years ago he confessed to me that he really likde me as well and wished he did something about it before he left - but he and I were both 13 and didn’t know what to do.  We decided it was best to cut off our ties because their was no way we could be together, and it was too painful. But now he’s back, I ran into him at the mall - and he was with his GIRLFRIEND! ARRRHHH! What do I do, I really like him still.

Maria-chan

Love triangles - great in anime, not so much in real life.

Hey Maria-baby

What you need to do is show this guy that your milkshake is better than hers.  And there is a reason it brings all the boys to the yard.  How do you do that?  Easy - sensual seduction. Invite him over for a little welcome back dinner at your place.  Wear clothes that highlight your “assets” and then do what all Horny anime girls do… flaunt it.  That means reaching over the table to feed him, bending over to pick up something that dropped, lick whip cream off your finger.   It’s a fool proof plan, guaranteed to work.

Asuna’s Editors Note -

Milkshake?  What the hell?

You said you still really like him, so I’m going to assume that you’ve already spent time with him since he’s come back home and this is just not a childhood memory.  I think you have to let him know how you feel.  But if you plan on doing that you have to accept the fact that he may not feel the same way about you still. 3 years is a long time.  He also may just like / love his girlfriend more than he did for you 3 years ago.  That is just reality, people change over time.  But I think it is something you should still do, because otherwise you may regret it in the years to come.

That’s it for this week my babies, if you have a question for me email me at Koibito.anime[at]gmail.com.

For Sunohara Archive of Love advice click here

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Tags: Love Advice, Relationship Advice, Sunohara Youhei